keys
You know what I fucking hate? Shit personalities, the kind of people whose words and actions don’t match up and step on others to reach greater heights for themself. The kind of bitches who are so fucking egotistic and wanna show on the surface that they’re smart and all, but they just try to push into every fucking conversation. They act all nice but they hide how desperate they are for attention. Fake friends. Pseudo intellectuals, people who can’t do shit except say they can. Insecurity... One day, my insecurities are gunna kill me twice over. I hate these people, but I’m also somewhat of a hypocrite. Am I, or am I overreacting? Please, tell me the fucking honest truth. I say I hate bitches who interrupt conversations, but amn’t I just that way? Like, desperate for attention? I’m lonely... so fucking lonely. (d-minor) Desolation and a feeling of isolation which haunts me every time I smile. Clinging to every friend I ever had but they never realize the hollow emptiness I hide behind the mask. I, or rather us all survive in "society" with the mask. Hidden behind a blank screen. It's translucent, but only the lies I feed myself shine brightly through the filter, blinding me. I tell myself I’m sociable and I’m actually able to fucking open my mouth and speak words. What the fuck am I even writing. Am I at the point where I’m regretting moving my fingers over the keys? Because I can’t bring myself to say it out loud, because I’m a fucking coward who’s too pathetic to stop or keep going.(f-minor) Wallowing in a beautiful, ugly pool of only my own insecurity. Typed a message, it’s still sitting in the blank and I can’t bring myself to send it to him. Is this how pathetic I really am? I can’t say it to her either. Hey, maybe someday I’ll know what it feels like to be the person I aspire to be. Someone who’s strong and isn’t just putting up a mask. I don’t want to wear my mask in front of people anymore, I wanna let them know how I truly think. (e-minor) It’s hard though. The mask protects against my insecurities and makes talking and communicating so much easier. I can be assertive, bossy, even... whatever I want. Whatever I can dream of. I’m tired of dreaming, I want it now. Yea, I’m impatient, but it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long, stuck in this shitty dump. I’ve hit the backspace key so many times I’ve lost track. It’s painful to type out messages I desperately want to say, to let them know what I’m feeling. No matter how much they reassure me I can be transparent with them, I still fucking doubt myself. Every damn time. I hate you. (Bb minor)
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