The Beginning
Writing is hard for me. I can't express my thoughts clearly into words, and even as I write these sentences I can't help but feel an impulse to delete everything. I'll just say my thoughts, I guess. Why did I try do do something I knew I couldn't do? Who knows? Why do we always covet what we do not own? I guess we'll always wish to have what we don't. Just like how a willow sways in the breeze, we will continue to be indecisive and unsteady in the path we so choose. I do hope I become better at writing. For what I covet, is what I do not possess. Similarly, to you behind the screen of this text, I hope you understand me. What do I desire above all? It's not wealth, nor is it fame. Perhaps I'm lying to myself when I say this. It goes against all base instinct. The thing I covet most is an empathetic person. Someone similar to me, someone who can fully understand these selfish desires and confusing thoughts which I cannot even comprehend and provide comfort to me during hard times. Someone I can lean on and rely on. I don't know why my writing style is like this. It's always different when I'm writing for myself, rather than sending a text to a friend. When you read this, I don't know what you'll think. I'll make this public in a few weeks. I wonder what you'll think then. As I wrote this for myself as well as people who may not know me personally, I can only talk about unspecific things. Such as, my emotions throughout the day. Many of you who read this and know me in person as well will find that the person behind these words may not be the one you see in reality. That is the difference with one wall down. I can't explain it, but I guess you'll understand eventually.