you're the protagonist, by the way
A long overdue reply
To: (You know who you are)
Don't worry
You're not a side character here
Don't fool yourself, love you for what you are,
There are people in the world who care for you.
Having those kinds of thoughts is cruel to them.
I will stay your friend.
Trust you and me both
I swear on my life that I will stay your friend, even if we can't now.
I swear on my life that I'll try.
How you deal with conflict shows how powerful you are.
Don't hate yourself. It's unfair. What about everyone who values you as a friend?
You're not allowed to hurt or destroy yourself anymore. Don't let people hurt or destroy you either.
People don't care about you? Bullshit. I care more for you than I'd like. I'd rather not feel anything, and not have to go through this dilemma and pain every time I see you. Humans are weak, yes, and they are susceptible to emotion. That's what makes us human. It might feel shitty, but it's special.
It's our way of saying, fuck you. I'm human.
I don't want to let you hurt yourself anymore.
I know you wrote that years ago. So what? That's not to say you still aren't affected by it.
I wish there was some way to know if you were feeling better..
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. In the end, I guess I just wanted honest confirmation, without you putting up a front.
I don't know which parts of you that I knew were real or fake, because we put up fronts all the time. When we don't, we feel vulnerable.
Is it that impossible to feel vulnerable around anyone? I know how hard it can be.
You said you're the outlier, but the truth is, the right people will find comfort in what makes you strange- I did.
You can feel vulnerable around them.
It wasn't an illusion - there are people who genuinely care about you and value you.
You're not broken at all. You're just human. And if that makes you a masochist, then maybe I am too, because I still feel the pain you once shared.
Writing this two years later, I had almost forgotten that you were only a bit younger than me when you wrote it. Who did this to you, who made you think this way?
I’m not asking you to respond.
I just needed to say it, to get it out there—because what you wrote deserved to be heard, not buried.
I hope you’ve healed, even just a little.
And if you haven’t, that’s okay too.
Just don’t forget: someone once read every word and meant it when they said they cared.
Even if I’m not in your life anymore, remember that you aren't alone (please).